Monday, January 21, 2008

Kouda Entry_xx: The Origin of Abhorrence

Okay, Turns out I’ve been hittin the books too much. And while endulging in them mycology notes, I came to realize something; People are like fungi;

- They’re hard to classify at a glance. You never know what’s beyond their daily façade.

- They reproduce like there’s no tomorrow, spreading their spawn all over this overpopulated ball of dirt we call Earth

- They’re pathogenic, sometimes parasitic. In short, they’re a pain in the rear.

- They’re hard to get rid of, at least not completely

- They’re useful every once in a while. But most of the time, they’re just eyesores.

Which made me emo for a bit.

“I hate people”. Don’t get me wrong, I’m no emo-wannabe who hates everything that moves. It’s just that, every once in a while, I get hit by this “revelation”. It’s not really the “holy awakening from god” kinda thing - FAR from it. It’s when reality hits you right between the eyes when you’re not looking. Then you get all depressed and shit.

And it ESPECIALLY sucks when it gets in the way of your studying. Your mind wanders just an inch away from awareness, and you can’t really grasp whatever it is that’s going on around you. And THAT is friggin frustrating when you’re trying to pay attention in class.

And having connections to people is like having a needle in your lungs; It hurts when you don’t want it to, and there’s nothing you can do about it. It sucks when you’re trying to read your notes, and suddenly a face appears in your head, and you can’t get rid of it. And then you get restless. You can’t stay put. Your brain won’t focus on the piece of paper in front of your fookin eyes. And what do you do? Curse the fact that you’re human. Spit on the reality that you’re bound to every other brood of Adam by an invisible thread, and the notion that you’re eternally obligated to the children of Eve.

“I hate people”, not because that I was scorned or whatever, but because it’s so fucking confusing to be around so many of them.

“I hate people”, not because I have to be ethical around them, but because most of them refuse to be ethical around me.

“I hate people”, not because they’re evolved, but because they resort to such primitive impulses.

“I hate people”, not because I feel I’m not one of them, but because they make me feel that way at times.

“I hate people”, not because they hide their truths, but because they show me lies.

I’ve come to realize a few things within these past few weeks in the semester. I’m not much of an anti-social. It’s just that I refuse to expose myself to these creatures. I despise the detestable leeches that suck you dry, and leave you to rot (especially this one specimen labeled “Bodique”). I fucking hate the idea of karma, because if there is such a thing, that bitch would be in enough pain to plunge me into an eternal euphoria.

Why did God bestow such intellect to a low life such as that spiteful spawn of pure evil? She even has the nerve to spread her blight to my friends, and that just fuckin ticks me off. Suck your own community’s blood and leave mine alone!!