Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Kouda Entry_140: Slip SPM


If you're a government worker, please read the whole post before making comments.

Okeh, so we all know that I lost my SPM slip, right?

"OMG where did you lose it!?"

If I knew that, it wouldn't be LOST la kot.

So, of course, I did the only thing I could do; Request for a copy of that godforsaken piece of processed cellulose.

 

Had to go to the local JPN to get the request form.

Had to pay RM10 (Money order) so that them government people would mail me the slip.

Had to go see a "commissioner of oath" to DECLARE that I lost my slip. (Can't I just write a Facebook shoutout? Sama je kot).

shoutout 
There, happy?

After I got all that done and mailed (POS EXPRESS, mind you), I waited.

 

And waited...

 

And waited...

 

1 Week after I mailed the request form, I called their office:

ME: Hello, saya nak tanya pasal request copy slip spm yang saya hantar minggu lepas, 16hb Feb.

STAFF: Sebentar ya, encik.

ME: . . .

STAFF: Slip SPM encik tu sedang diproses. Minggu depan kita hantar.

ME: Ok, terima kasih.

 

So I waited again...

 

wait2

 

And the following week: NO SLIP ARRIVED!

So I called again:

 

ME: Hello, saya nak tanya pasal request copy slip spm yang saya hantar on 16hb Feb.

STAFF: Sebentar ya, encik.

ME: . . .

STAFF: Kita belum proses lagi slip encik. Minggu depan kita akan pos kat encik.

ME: WHAT IN THE NAME OF UNHOLY FUCK!?!?!?

(ok mebbe I didn't say that la...but I wanted to. Lol).


 

 

So I WAITED.

 

wait

 

And waited...

 

AND FUCKING WAITED!!!


3 GODFORSAKEN WEEKS LATER

Which makes a total of 5 weeks since I sent that request

5 weeks

ME: Hello, saya nak tanya pasal request copy slip spm yang saya hantar on 16hb Feb.

STAFF: Sebentar ya, encik.

STAFF (in the background): Eh, kat mana slip spm untuk Mohamad Izwan?

ME: . . . >_>

STAFF: Minggu depan kita akan pos kat encik.

ME: SAYA CALL 3, 4 KALI, AWAK SLALU CAKAP NAK POS, POS, POS, TAPI XDER PUN SAMPAI!?!?!??!

STAFF: Kita memang perlu 2 bulan untuk proses, encik.

ME: ( 2 BULAN LA PULAK!? MUTHAF*****!!!!!!! )

STAFF: Sebulan kita proses, pastu sebulan lagi pihak pos yang handle.

 

 

GILA EH!? SEBULAN NAK HANTAR SURAT !? IT'S NOT LIKE I FUCKIN LIVE ON THE MOON!

 

AND BESIDES, IT'S BEEN FUCKIN 5 WEEKS!! AND YOU HAVEN'T EVEN HANDED MY SLIP TO THE POSTAL PEOPLE YET!!!! APA ALASAN KO HAH!??!!?

 

SERIOUSLY!!!! DO YOUR FUCKIN JOB, YOU DECREPIT ASSWIPES!!

 

I CALLED 2, 3 TIMES, NICELY. AND ALL I GET ARE FUCKIN PROMISES TO SEND ME THAT SLIP.

 

Of course I blew up la when the guy told me my crap isn't even in the mail yet.

Apa korang guna wat voodoo ke amende!?

And what pisses me off is that everytime I called them, I tried asking for the results (as in I JUST WANT TO KNOW THE RESULTS. SCREW THE SLIP).

And this is what those Shitbags told me:

"Sorry, encik, itu confidential"

 

CONFIDENTIAL!?!?!

 

CONFIDENTIAL!?!?!

 

FUCKIN CONFIDENTIAL!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

*You'd think I'd run out of "!" and "?" by now

 

IF YOU REPROBATES KNOW THAT IT'S SO FUCKIN IMPORTANT TO THE POINT THAT IT IS CONSIDERED CONFIDENTIAL, THEN GET YOUR LAZY ASSES IN FUCKIN GEAR ALREADY!!!!!!

 

THEY WON'T EVEN SEND ME THAT SLIP VIA ANY OTHER MEANS.

NOT EVEN BY E-MAIL.

NOT EVEN BY FAX.

NOT EVEN BY FUCKIN SMOKE SIGNALS OR HOMING PIDGEONS.

 

A COPY OF MY SLIP SPM JE KOT.

FROM THE YEAR 2004.

APA CONFIDENTIAL SANGAT NYE PUN!? IS THAT THING EVEN VALID ANYMORE!?

 

WHAT, ARE THEY GONNA USE MY SPM RESULT TO RULE THE WORLD?

 

IS MY SPM SLIP MADE FROM RADIOACTIVE MATTER THAT IS ALL THE HYPE AMONG TERRORRISTS NOWADAYS!?

 

DOES MY SPM RESULT CONTAIN SOME SORT OF SECRET CODE THAT CAN LEAD TO THE TRUTH ABOUT JESUS OR WHATEVER!?

 

OH MY GOD, MY SPM RESULT IS ACTUALLY THE SECRET TO TIME TRAVEL. *bursts with pride*

 

 

SUMER BUDAK SPM GOT THEIR SLIPS ALREADY! WHAT'S THE FUCKIN HOLDUP WITH MINE!?!?

 

IF IT'S THE CURRENT SPM RESULTS, I CAN UNDERSTAND WHY IT'S CONFIDENTIAL. BUT THIS ONE WAS FUCKIN 5 YEARS AGO.

 

I MEAN EVEN MUET RESULTS HAVE AN EXPIRATION DATE. AND THAT'S JUST ENGLISH. YOU THINK I REMEMBER SHIT ABOUT THE SUBJECTS I LEARNED DURING SEKOLAH MENENGAH!?

 

 

Look, I got NOTHING against government workers. Some of them area REALLY nice, and they get their jobs done.

 

BUT YOU CRETINS GIVE GOVERNMENT WORKERS A BAD, HORRIBLE, LOATHFUL NAME!

 

MY FRIEND GOT HIS SLIP 2, 3 WEEKS BEFORE ME. AND WE SENT OUR REQUESTS AT THE SAME TIME. IN THE SAME FUCKIN ENVELOPE NO LESS!

YEA SURE, HE WENT AND GOT IT HIMSELF. BUT THIS PROVES THAT THOSE IDIOTS ARE TOO FUCKIN LAZY TO SEND OUR SLIPS OUT.

 

TOLONG LA. FIRE ALL THESE USELESS SLOTHS, AND HIRE NEW PEOPLE.

 

* It's hard to draw chibis when you're pissed. Lol.