Saturday, January 31, 2009

Kouda Entry_121: Retarded Warnings

You know how you keep getting these messages "warning" you about retarded things?

Like a Tok Bomoh spraying people with cursed perfumes,
or desperate nut-less bastards voodoo-ing innocent civilians for no reason,
or Batman's going on a rampage and sodomizing horny kids.

Well, I just got a YM message that immediately pissed me off (at the sender lah, of course).
And it goes:

<uber long QUOTE>
BAHAYA!!! anda mungkin telah minum CARLSBERG!! (WTF?) Carlsberg baru sahaja mengeluarkan dua produk minuman tin terbarunya bernama JOLLY SHANDY (Oh I'm overwhelmed with shock~ >_>) berperisa LEMON dan ORANGE. Malah corak dan warna tin minuman tersebut seolah2 sama seperti tin minuman biasa F&N, PEPSI, Coca Cola, Drinho, Yeos, etc (Were you expecting a fluorescent, dildo-shaped can?). Apa yang membimbangkan kita semua umat Islam ialah kemungkinan ia dipasarkan secara terbuka dan meluas sehinggakan ada nanti umat Islam yang terbeli minuman tersebut (Hello, its called MARKETING. This is a beverage, we're talkin bout here. Not fuckin pounds of Cocaine). Tambahan pula perkataan "Contains alcohol" hanya di tulis kecil sahaja di belakang tin tersebut (At least it's actually fukin STATED. They don't cover the damn can with "CONTAINS ALCOHOL" labels. Besides, "SHANDY". It's already obvious to the max la wei.) . HARAP SEBARKAN MAKLUMAT INI UNTUK KEBAIKAN SEMUA UMAT ISLAM................. > > > > > > > > > > JANGAN LUPA SEBARKAN X G2 ANDA AKAN DOSA SEUMUR HIDUP KERANA MENDAPAT INFO TAPI X SEBARKAN....
</QUOTE>

Seriously, what kind of brainless dufus would confuse a JOLLY SHANDY for an innocent can of Coke?

Are we really that "kampung" to not AT LEAST question a can of soft drink that has SHANDY plastered all over it?

Have you EVER even seen a can / bottle of alcoholic beverage before!?

It's called a HALAL label. If you see a new food/beverage product, at the very least have the IQ to look for that damned print.

Kalau xder itu label, x payah la nak minum/makan kalau dah was-was sangat.

Now, if you've got news like "Oh no! Scientists discovered that Malaysia's water supply is contaminated with blood-sucking parasites! Pass it on plz rotflolomgwtf~", then I might be inclined to look it up, out of curiosity.

Another useless "warning". PFFT.

Ok, ok, dah "tersebar" dah. Xder la dosa aku kan? Tapi berdosa gak kalau duk menyebar benda2 mengarut nih. >_>

This has been another "PEOPLE SHOULD BE LESS RETARDED" news update. I'm Kyoru, signing off.

END~!

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Kouda Entry_120: Hookey~!

Aite, so today was a rather interesting day. Heck, if it weren't for the tiredness, I'd even call it fun. ^_^

Me and the other PraktiKidz (Uh...Practical Kids lol) actually planned on going to the Jabatan Pendidikan Negeri (JPN) today.

They needed to get their MUET registrations done, and I needed to attempt on getting a copy of my SPM slip. Yup, Kyo lost his SPM slip. And I completely forgot my results. Quite a pickle I'm in, eh?

In order to get the info needed to fill in my forms, I had to go back to my old sekolah menengah and poke around in the office.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Sempat amik gambar. XD

I'm not all too fond of this school though. Since I was a nobody throughout being there. Lol emo. Pfft.

Long story short, the JPN people screwed me over and I couldn't get the slip thing done. Big surprise.

Good news? At least the other PraktiKidz (I make us sound like some sort of retarded TV show) got their registrations done. O yay...~

Then we went to eat, cuz it was lunchtime already.

02

In Kelantan, 11.00am is already lunch break. Ahahaha! Well, for us la neways.

We ate at "Mamak Spicy" , and I swear, all of us went broke after a single meal.

My menu consisted of:

White Rice + Chicken + Veggies + 1 Watermelon Drink.

And that added up to a frikkin RM8.00! Wtf!? I can get a meal of the same amount (and probably quality) at HUSM's cafe for barely RM5.00!

And HUSM doesn't run my Petrol dry or make me wait horrendously long in traffic jams!

Kyo is a cheapskate, and a lazy arse (take note of that, will you). So, I am NEVER going to that Mamak Spicy place EVER again. Makan Maggie kat umah lagi bagus. XD

After stuffing ourselves with them overpriced dishes, instead of heading back to HUSM, we decided to get to know Kelantan a bit better:

03 
How come I never saw this giant piece of work in all my (almost) 22 years livin in KB!?

04 
If it weren't for the shades, we'd probably look EXACTLY the same.

05 
SEE!? EXACTLY! Actually, I think he looks better in shades than me. Damn.

Azrie wasn't gonna let me have all the fun:

06 
Hey, this Kaunter Pertanyaan joke was all his idea. Haha.

Although some people were a tad unethical and threw insults. Not at us la of course. I dare not say who it was or what is it they said, but I disagree with their lack of open-mindedness.

Kanak2 sekalian, kalau nak masuk tempat orang, jaga adat. Walaupun berlainan agama, jangan suka2 nak menghina kepercayaan orang lain. X elok dowh.

Aite, aite, so, we didn't get to go inside. I kinda wanted to see what it was like inside the temple. But alas, another day perhaps.

Again, instead of going back to HUSM, we took another detour. To a place that KL and Shah Alam WON'T EVER be able to top:

THE BEACH!!!!! XDDDDD~!!!!!

07 
A weird image though. Formal clothes at the beach? Wtf?

Oh, those are Coconut flavored Jelly we're stuffin our faces with. Courtesy of Azrie. Terasa agak exotic jugak. Lol.

08 
I had to crop the two girls on the right side of the pic cuz they were just too far out.

09
I always find time to indulge in Mutha Neitcha's booty beauty. And don't you just love it when you see someone sit on crap?

 10
I have far too much jewelry / trinkets for a guy to be wearing. Well...ring, watch, bracelet...I guess that's not so gay bad.

11 
It's the hip new boyband. When they're not shoving their mullets full of coconut jelly, that is.

All in all, today was hellishly fun.

END!

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Kouda Entry_119: Eye-Killin

MY EYES ARE FUGGIN KILLIN ME!

Eye_Killin

I was having one of my regular eye-strains. So I decided to depict the severe pain in the form of a chibi.

But by the time I was done, the eye-strain went away. Lolz.

At first I wanted to post the lineart I drew using my drawing pen(s). But then the blotchy-ness of the pen ink was uber ugleh!

So, I retraced the whole thing using the pen-tool on Photoshop.

Hey, a pen is a pen. Be it on photoshop, or in real life. Rite? Rite?

PEN TOOL ROX! (Although I think the chibi up there might not be too happy bout it XD)

And now my eyes feel dry. >_>

YES! This was an utter waste of your time, since it's not a real blog update. Ahar har har~.

Oh, and Raldo sez hi;

Raldo

Yes, Kyo has a stuffed animal. ALERT THE EFFIN PRESS!!!!

Shut up, I got it as a gift for bein the MC for this International Sports Festival thingy a few years back.

And it's been spending like the past 2 years inside my closet. Thought I'd give it a breath of fresh air for once.

OMG kyo talks about an object as if it actually breaths!? Ini pengaruh Azi!! O shit I need to undergo therapy or sumthin!

Hey! Hey! END!

 

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Kouda Entry_118: Thy Name is Vain

Hey hey, mom woke me up to take my pills this mornin. But as usual, I blacked out on my bed again shortly after prying my eyelids open.

I know you're supposed to take your antibiotics on time. But my bed was just too fuhriggin comfortable XD.

So, I got up again later, and being the klutz that I am, I tripped on this damn thing:

Kouda Entry_117 (3)

Which makes it...wut...the third time this week?

Aren't you supposed to be GOOD for my health, instead of breaking my toe every single time I wake up in the morning!? >_>

Shut up, it was dark, and the left side of my occipital lobe was still asleep.

After shouting out a few choice cusses at this...inanimate piece of metal...I bathed, had breakfast and downed my pills.

And then~ I figured I'd grab my phone and be vain for the next few minutes:

Kouda Entry_117 (1)

Lousy lighting made my skin tone all screwed up.

Yes, I was in the bathroom. Shut up. Like you haven't posed a few shots in the shower before. Pfft. XD

It took me a significant sum of seconds to finally realize that I was bein a dork inside the bathing quarters.

So I moved to my "work" quarters instead.Lol.:

Kouda Entry_117 (2)

Yes, Kyo can be very de self-involved. Ahahaha!

Shuddup.

Oh, kantoi bukak frenster kat blakang. And that fruity piece on my desk doesn't help either XD.

Ey, look! It's the end of this post! END!

Friday, January 23, 2009

Kouda Entry_117: Uniform

Hey, Chinese New Year is poppin up soon!

And as tradition goes, young'ns would go around gettin ang pow, right?

But not dear old young-adult Kyo. He gets this instead:

Entry_116 (1)

Entry_116 (2)

A new Taekwondo uniform! Yayz!

Some might qualify this as:

1> Nerd

2> Spastic enthusiasm

3> A sick habit of collecting uniforms to get all kinky in.

. . .

I kinda like idea number 3. XD. And don't you dare deny that you had the same dirty thoughts too. Lol.

Just think...you gettin all riled up while your man all suited up for action. Ahahahaha!!!! "Ladies, you know you want to". ROTFLOL.

White stains too easily. No kinky for my new uniform. Nu'uh.

O look behind you, a Panda doing squats! (?)

END

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Kouda Entry_116: Sick

I can't believe I'm sick.

It's only a light fever, but it's still a pain in the gonads.

At about 5am this morning. I was woken up by this unholy discomfort in the few corners of my head (heads have corners...?).

And god, it felt like my brain was about to cave in. So I tossed and turned for maybe an hour, hoping that I'd knock myself out again.

But nope, I was wide awake throughout the whole throbbing cranium episode. Le horrorz.

Naturally, I decided not to risk driving to HUSM in the unstable condition that I was in. No way am I gettin behind the wheel while the back of my head was experiencing repeated decompression.

So, I stayed home. Yay! Been a while since I had to lie in bed and suffer in agony. >_>

Never had one of these before.

2 day's off! Wootz! If it weren't for the relentless headaches and the feverish temperature, it would've been a fun day.

Kouda Entry_115: Kyo + Bored

We all know what happens when Kyo get's bored, right?

No, I mean when there's no porn around. Lol.

That was a seriously disgusting introduction... Moving on...

Okeh okeh, so I was in the microbio lab counter today. And of course, I enjoyed the occasional work where I had to register a bunch of samples.

However, when there aren't any samples to register, Kyo spends his time (and marker pen ink) doin this:

Kyo mencapab

Kyo + bored = Vandalism XD

O mai, very de shiny. Ahahaha!

Shut up, I was bored. It looks pretty good tho. Albeit xder motif and utterly pointless.

Whets your appetite, don't it? Ahahaha!

I was excited as a bald man hearing about a 50% discount on wigs! If that makes sense...

All the blood samples in the world are at my disposal! Muakakakaka!

Registering all them samples into the system was a better use of my time than just sittin around do nuthin.

I am officially out of stuff to shit about. END

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Kouda Entry_114: MUET

MUET results came out today!!

Kyo is slightly excited. Lol.

Kyos MUET

Nah, tengok puas2. This thing'll probably be valid for the next 2, 3 years.

Okay, I had to censor my IC number. Private info. Ekeke.

So yea, Band 5 jek. Not as hype as band 6 or wtvr. But considering I wasn't even prepared for the test, I shud just shut up and be happy. XD.

It's times like this that you start wishing that you actually read up a bit on MUET before taking it.

The reading section was a whore. Bapak banyak cerpen kena baca. I swear my eyes shriveled up from all the reading. Mati bosan i tel u.

And the writing section caught me by the gonads. Bagi piechart, then suruh elaborate. I was fine with the elaborating part. But, I was clueless if there was a specific format I was supposed to follow.

The listening section, easy as π.

The speaking... oh the speaking... Never in my life have I been in a group that was SO out of sync. They were either "not making sense", or "completely engrossed in their own world".

And as such, I had to be the chairman. Ohoho, Kyo masuk bakul. But of kos~!

Meh, the Band isn't even all that important pun. As long as you took the test, it's enough to get you in most of the local universities.

i.e. I can't use it to apply for overseas applications. Geddit? No? Then go screw a wallabe or sumthin.

THUH END

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Kouda Entry_113: Cut My Leg

I took my friend to the bus station last Sunday.

And while waiting for the bus (which was 1 hour n 30 minutes late btw), i decided to order myself a drink.

Of course, Kyo ordered his all time drink; Neslo.

Bit little did I know, that what the girl at the counter gave me wasn't Neslo, but it's Evil twin brother.

Why is it Evil, you ask? Well, so Evil, that it gave me an idea for a product. I give you:

Diabetes 

A Kelantanese's All Time Fav!

Tadaah! It looks normal. But don't let your eyes fool you.

This uber concentrated mix of milo, nescafe and condensed milk is one powerful nut-buster.

Those with a weak gut will likely lose their balls after taking a single sip of this unholy concoction. Don't ask me how that's supposed to make sense.

I don't have the EXACT recipe for this tongue-numbing delight. But I'd say it goes sumthin like this;

1> 5 fistful of Milo

2> 1 spoon of Nescafe

3> 10 20 spoonfuls of condensed milk

4> 5 drops of water

Ick. I know la I'm a Kelantanese, but it's not like my arteries were made with a sugar-despensing system to flush out all the excess sweetness.

I think I clogged like 8 of my veins after finishing a cup of this sugary nightmare.

Monday, January 5, 2009

Kouda Entry_112: HUSM Day One

Today's the big day; the first day of my practicals!

Aite, so I woke up at about 6.15am this morning to get ready...but I fell asleep again. Lol.

Fortunately, mom woke me up at 6.45am, and this time, I actually got all the way up, instead of dropping back down on my bed like an overweight lump of rock.

I kid you not when I say that I was nervous (probably subconsciously). Cuz, I wasn't really all jittery, but instead I felt nauseous. To the point where even the sweet scent of toasted bread made me gag.

Or mebbe I got impregnated by some unscrupulous aliens while I was asleep. Lol.

At any rate, I got ready, had a bite to eat for breakfast, and downed a mug of coffee (just for the heck of it). And at 7.30am, mom drove me to HUSM.

Shut up. My mom volunteered to take me. Since we weren't sure there was gonna be any parking spaces. God forbid I spend an hour of my morning scouring the hospital grounds for a patch of open land to abandon my car.

And as usual, Kyo like the easy way out. Ekekeke.

Ok, so on the road, I got to take a look at the wads of cars and sacks of flesh children clumping together, entering schools. Awww...wat serabut jalan je. Akakaka!

No lah. Kids getting education. That's good. I'm just pissed cuz I was afraid I might be late for my first day at the hospital.

On the way there, me n mom talked about how me n my siblings acted when we were in schools. Mom said my teachers complained that I distracted the kids in my class a lot when I was in primary school.

Why? Because I drew a lot, and the kids tend to gather around me to watch. Ahaha! Ain't that adorable. Kyo has been a little menace even before puberty. XD.

Okay, okay, we reached the hospital at about 8.10am. And I was supposed to register at 8.10am. So, you can imagine how discombobulated I was after taking a look at the clock. Lol.

We reached the Human Resources counter at about 8.20am, i think. The good news is, I wasn't the last guy to arrive. The bad news is, the last guy to arrive got there at about 9.00am. And the rest of us had to wait for all of us to be there before we could head for the Microbiology labs.

The waiting...oh gawd...the waiting...

The Last to Arrive

Left to right; Acap, Azrie, Yeh and Kamal. Apparently, clogged traffic, coupled with zero parking can do horrible things to your punctuality. Who'dve thunk?

And yea, I'm too lazy to upload the pics on "imageshack" and paste it on this blog. No idea why I do it in the first place. Lol.

Microbes and Parasites, how droll.

As much as I miss my crew. It's good that I had the opportunity to get acquainted with my uh...practical-mates. Lol. At least it gives me more people to manipulate learn from.

PSP!? Lolz

Now THIS is my kind of department. A gamer being assigned to a unit that has PSP plastered all over it.

I'm still trying to figure out what PPSP stands for...I'm pretty sure Microbiology starts with an "M"...

* * *

We didn't do anything today, sadly. Azi told me she and Ima got to try out some Chikugunya confirmation tests or sumthin. I got jealous.

I wanna do sumthin like that too! Dah la HUKM ada them awesum tube-transport thingy where you just chuck a bottle of sample into a hole and it magically flies to another department.

Dengki. Chet. XD

All we have (as far as I know), is a big ass machine called Pheonix (O mai, koolness) that no one uses because it doesn't produce top-notch results.

It's probably cuz they weren't given proper training on how to use it. Like the Electron Microscope in UiTM shah alam. A big heaping waste of cash. I wanna touch it! Electron Microscope!! I want!!! Lol.

So yeah, me and the other 6 microbers just sat and lounged about in the office the whole day. Apart from the short tour of the lab and the briefing lah. But that covered a good 2 hours.

I better have sumthin interestin to do tomorrow! All this lazing about is giving me a headache.

Yes, Kyo memang tau komplen je. Wat keje pun komplen, duk saje2 pun komplen. XD

* * *

I miss shakir. He's the only faithful and trustworthy cameraman I ever had. Lol.

And I so want a digital camera. Mebbe I should add subliminal messages into my dad's newspaper.

A blogger is NOTHING without a reliable camera!


Sunday, January 4, 2009

Kouda Entry_111: Resolution

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
No.1 Get a Digital Camera >_>

Typically, every year, we'd kid ourselves by thinkin up some ridiculous goal to achieve.

And so as not to miss the boat, I also came up with a few goals to kid myself with:

> Finish Chapter One of Exorsus.
- Wtf tak siap2 lagi?

> Get back to my drawing comics. At least make one complete chapter.
- Kesian ini benda. Dah lama kena abandon. Tsk...tsk... Biaser la, no readers kan. Lol.

> Improve on my bitchin.
- As in find better ways to bitch and make it more entertaining. Akakaka! Quit bitchin? Are you insane!?

> Organize my stuff better.
- I so don't wanna be the typical bachelor with a room that looks like it's gone through World War II.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Kouda Entry_110: The Bottom Line

I saw this on friendster today, and I can't help but laugh my arse off at the reality of it all:

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

The Bottom Line
You may be sidetracked from your initial goals today, but just get back on track.

In Detail
It's all about perseverance today. Whatever you are doing, just keep at it! You may be sidetracked from your initial goals by an inconsiderate person or an unexpected interruption, but you can't let that stop you from trying to get back on track! Throwing up your hands and giving up has never been your strategy for handling problems, and it you shouldn't even consider it today. People admire your stick-to-it attitude and it's part of the reason you're so inspiring.

Akakaka! Oh betapa accurate-nyer horoscope zaman sekarang. XD.

Ah, a wonderful start to a new year.