Friday, August 1, 2008

Kouda Entry_30: Resolve Beneath the Chaos

A lot of shit have been happenin lately. So, I prowled the net for random shit. And this is wut i found;

http://www.coping.org/relations/forgive.htm

I don't understand why things can be so complicated when they shouldn't be.

In this messed up life, we learn that "To err is human, but to forgive is a fuckin chore".

But, I realize that its not about "bein professional", or "letting your emotions get a hold of you". Its about two sides of the story not gettin thru.

This is a corny moment. True. Call it what u want.

I did a lot of thinking, trying to make sense of why things are going haywire. We've all had out fair share of protests when things go wrong. Its a blatant nature of ours to find someone to blame. Even I do that a number of times, obviously. But there are also a number of times where I try not to point fingers. Albeit, not many may admit this.

Its a bitch, really, having to be rational when you just wanna punch the lights out of sumone. But in the long run, you'll appreciate the effort you put into keeping things in balance, in keeping the utter chaos of human ineptitude from getting in the way of your daily lives.

I am regretful that I have enemies. People who find it amusing to judge me. People who find it interesting to create a contrasting persona about me.

But I am even more regretful that my friends fail to get along with each other. Regardless the cause, regardless of the reasons. I fail to understand why we, as friends, can't seem to be just that. I've made my share of mistakes. I've said things that shouldn't be mentioned. I won't justify myself. I have no reasons to make excuses for my actions. Whats done, is done, and i can't make the clock turn back for me.

Let that anger burn, if you must. But once all that angst is rendered to ash. Once all that fire is nothing but ash, and the vengeance is but vanishing smoke, I will be as I have always been; A friend. And I stand firm to this resolve.